Wagamama Asahi Zero

Wagamama serves Asahi zero at £5.30 with 83 kcal, the alcohol free build of the house lager and the only bottle on the list with a published calorie figure. The dry profile survives the missing alcohol almost intact, which is the entire point.

Zero beers earn their place when they keep their parent's job, and this one does: the karakuchi crispness still resets the palate between rich bites, the bottle still sweats properly beside a hot bowl, and the driver, the pregnant diner and the abstinent keep the pairing everyone else takes for granted.

At 83 kcal it undercuts every flavoured soft drink on the menu bar the zeros and teas, an arithmetic argument nobody expects from a beer. Vegan marked, and priced within pennies of the alcoholic original, it is the most complete zero option on any UK chain's list.